shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
3 2 1 whiskey
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
