plz talk dirty to me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize