Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
