Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
so much tequila, so little girl.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
