I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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