My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
