the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
