he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
