butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize