3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
