I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
