my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
