as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
