you guys were way drunker than both of me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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