i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
