she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize