seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
