dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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