I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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