so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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