Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize