i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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