Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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