"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
