Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
