Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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