I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
