I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
