i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
