Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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