i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
