Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
