I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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