If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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