So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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