Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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