How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
