To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
