she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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