Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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