You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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