What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
bring money and cleavage
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
