two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
40s are totally the cure
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
