Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
