I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
