I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
