break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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