i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
