I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
