no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
