Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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