It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize