it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Less talking, more tequila
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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