You work out of a Hotel?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I can text with my tongue
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
