Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
