My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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