her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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