why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Life is so much better after having sex.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Found your dick twin last night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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