I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize