My friends, they love my intelligence
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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