the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
