i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
