Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
